| | This is the most numb Christmas I can remember. I really don't want
anything for Christmas that I can honestly expect to get. With no hopes
up for presents, there goes my Christmas spirit.
;]
We went to this candlelight service tonight. After some Christmas
carols, the pastor sat down in a low-seated chair, read part of the
Christmas story from the Bible, and told one of those stories that you
find inside email forwards supposed to make you feel good about being a
Christian or something.
But his voice sounds too smooth, too polished, too perfect. It hurts
me to see someone that well put together. To see someone who seems like
they don't have to fight their demons at all.
Uggh. Now I feel bad about not being cheerful or happy or in the holiday spirit. I really just want my friends and a long time to make to memories to replace the ones fading away. That's more what all these holidays are: excuses to get together with your family and strength bonds between each other so they won't fall apart. That was one of my biggest fear about moving to Belgium: that my friendships wouldn't be there when I get back. I'm sure they'll be there, but in what form? I can't predict the future. How am I supposed to prepare myself?
Oh well, see you next year. Or sooner I guess
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| | Posted 12/24/2007 7:04 PM - 181 Views - 0 eProps - 9 comments
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